So Friday afternoon I went to the hospital to have surgery. Specifically, I had a vasectomy.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking… “why the HELL would you have that done?”

Well, it’s simple. I’ve got five kids. I’m 32. I’m not having any more kids, and I’m not through having sex with my wife yet.

“But why didn’t your wife get her tubes tied?”

Because she’s had five kids. And, realistically, it’s much easier for me to have a vasectomy than it is for her to have a tubal ligation. Basically I’m on the couch or in bed for the rest of the weekend, but if my wife had her tubes tied, she’d be out of commission for two weeks. That’s just not feasible with my schedule.

“But why not condoms, the pill, IUD, etc.?”

That’s probably the best question. The answer varies for what type of birth control we’re talking about, but ultimately vasectomies have a success rate that’s better than those other types of bith controls.

“Okay, so did it hurt?”

Actually, not that much. For those that want to know, here’s how it went down. I got to the hospital about two hours before my surgery and was whisked to a room where I had to strip down, put on the backless gown, footies, and for some reason a hairnet (yes I did look as ridiculous as you imagine I did). An IV was inserted into my wrist, and fluids were given to me, in addition to an antibiotic.

When it was time for my surgery, I was wheeled to the OR holding area, where I met my doctor and my ana… my ana… the guy who knocked me out. Yep, that’s right. I had a general ana… knockout given to me. So ultimately, I didn’t feel a damn thing.

I was home about 4 hours after the surgery (with a local it would have been closer to two), and I’ve been hanging out on the couch ever since.

Honestly, I feel pretty good. A little sore, but it doesn’t even feel as bad as getting kicked in the nuts. The worst was feeling a little nauseous from the lack of food and the general anesthetic (yes, I finally looked up the spelling). I had to lay down because I thought I was going to be sick, but once my head hit the couch, I started feeling better.

**Update**

I wrote that last night but didn’t want to post anything while I was under the effects of Tramadol. I’m still feeling pretty good today. Actually the pain’s not bad at all (probably a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10). It’s the loopiness from the pain medication that’s the biggest thing.

Jim: You’e a brave man, bud. I think you ought to get “A Man Came At My Privates With A Knife and I Lived To Tell The Tale” embroidered on a throw pillow.

Does anybody else feel like that whatever went wrong, their weekend doesn’t seem that bad in comparison?