This response to Cam’s post got so long I made it a new post. I’ve been a father for a little over a month, so naturally I know everything I have to about the subject.

Actually, I’ve been thinking about these topics a lot for oh, ten months or so.

Cam is an old pro at modern fatherhood, truly one of my role models in this area. Cam, I can’t help but suspect that your competence and attitudes come from taking on these responsibilities at a comparably early age - you got good at this and quick because you had to. Having done so, and seen the results in five great children, the last thing you’re going to worry about is somebody else’s evaluation of your parenting skills; the proof is in the pudding.

I’m trying really hard to avoid becoming that “New Dad” stereotype. You know that guy. Spitup on his shirt. Bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. Will show you dozens of photos of his child that all look the same at the drop of a hat, whether you ask him to or not. Discusses the texture of bowel movements in public in a disturbing level of detail.

While I thought the Time article was hit-and-miss, I think it accurately describes a bit of tension that most new fathers face. Very few men want to be seen as “unmasculine,” and very few want to be seen as “whupped.” Modern society doesn’t exactly help men feel like men, never mind fathers. For many of us, our jobs are not terribly rugged or jolting our testosterone. We sit in cubicles or behind desks, typing into a little box, developing carpal-tunnel and staring at a computer screen. We’re not exactly Lewis and Clark exploring the West.

So what do you do? I used to play flag football - got an awesome weekly rainbow of bruises from that (the blocking was full contact), and relished the chance to show off the hairline fractures in my fingers. Competition, teamwork, seeing your breath in cold weather, sprinting all out, trying to not get knocked on your ass by a guy twice your size, trying to catch a cold, hard football on the not-quite-frozen-tundra by the Washington Monument… that felt pretty damn manly.

Didn’t get a chance to return to it this fall; maybe in the spring.

If the worst problem American fathers have is that commercials and sitcoms perpetuate a stereotype of incompetence, things aren’t going that badly.

Having said that, who are the masculine role models of today? Obviously, a significant of professional athletes are terrible fathers, with multiple children born to multiple women, none of which they’ve married.

Stars of music? Come on. The damage that Kevin Federline has done to fatherhood is only exceeded by the damage Britney Spears has done to motherhood.

Television or movie stars? Let’s face it, Tom Cruise is making fatherhood look weird for everyone else.

Don’t get me started on political figures - Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, etc.

In terms of our pop culture heroes - which have a huge impact on a culture’s definition of manliness - the only pop culture masculine figure I could think of who is a father was Jack Bauer. And as we all know, he’s a terrible father, as his daughter is constantly stepping in bear traps and beset by mountain lions.

James Bond? Jason Bourne? The Pirates of the Carribbean heroes? Superman was depicted as a deadbeat dad in the last movie. Are any of the CSI detectives parents? (I don’t watch the shows enough to answer that. Any of the Law and Order characters?) Dr. House? For whatever reason, when Hollywood’s storytellers, scriptwriters, and myth-makers decide to create a male hero, they rarely decide to make that heroic figure a father. (Probably because they want the character to roll in the sack with the female lead character at some point, and having a baby or kid tagging along makes that scene more awkward.)

Rebecca Cusey noted on NRO that Friday Night Lights stands out on television because it portrays a strong father figure. Earlier, she had noted good dads were fairly rare on prime-time television.

By the way - great men can be bad fathers. I think Ronald Reagan would have to fit that category.

“Why, yes, my diaper bag looks just like “The Jack Sack” that Bauer carries. Why do you ask?”