On Tap

A working mother of two special needs children tells the world that Sarah Palin needs to stay at home.

I know that I’m going to be reminded me that I have a nanny, a house manager, and a cleaning woman (who actually shows up every day). But I also have a job that allows me to leave at 2:30. It’s a compromise for me. Because every parent in the world has had to compromise, and it’s fair to judge public figures on the choices they make.

It’s really hard to know where to compromise. Here’s what I was doing when my kid was five months old: I was at home. Hating it. Telling myself that I was not cut out to be at home. I was sort of a columnist and sort of a mom and sort of a psychopath. Because having a five-month-old with special needs is very very hard. Not just learning to take care of the baby, but mentally coping.

Why is no one talking about this? The Republicans should dump Palin. She’s got too much responsibility at home.

Don’t tell me that this is not fair to women. Because you know what? People should have railed against John Edwards running for President when he had two young kids at home and a wife fighting cancer. Fine if she wants him to run for office while she fights the cancer. I get it. But I don’t get how the President of the United States was going to have time to console two school age kids about their mom’s death while leading the country. It’s irresponsible.

I’m guessing Ms. Trunk didn’t write a blog post, or a column, or even utter a word in public about John Edwards and his presidential race until now… after he’s yesterday’s news. And while I’m glad Ms. Trunk is able to compromise and make her life work for her, who is she to presume that Sarah Palin isn’t also making compromises and choices that are best for her family?

Special needs children have (wait for it) special needs. And what area would have more opportunities for specialized and expert care; Juneau, Alaska or Washington, D.C.? Isn’t it possible that a child like Trig can benefit from having a mother as Vice-President? It seems more than possible to me… it seems like a slam-dunk decision.

But even beyond the considerations of providing the best care possible for your special needs child, there is a matter of being called to serve. From what we’ve heard about Sarah Palin, it was the desire to make her world a better place for her family that called her to the PTA, to the City Council, to the Mayor’s office, and to the Capitol in Juneau. If given the opportunity to truly help change the world, don’t you have to answer that call? After all, I doubt Ms. Trunk has complained about Barack Obama leaving his two daughters to spend time on the campaign trail (though we know from Obama himself that Michelle had problems with his time away). Should John Adams have stayed at home rather than travel to Philadelphia? Should Benjamin Franklin have stayed at home, rather than risk the perilous journey across the sea to London? Should Lincoln have remained in Illinois instead of taking his family to Washington?

Ms. Trunk says:

But it’s absurd how extreme these presidential-wanna-be cases are. I don’t want someone in the White House who has kids at home who desperately need them. I don’t want to watch that scenario unfold on national TV. So at some point, it must be okay to speak up. At some point we have to say that we have standards for parenting and we want the community to uphold them.

You’re right Ms. Trunk. We do have standards for parenting, and one of them is instructing our children about what’s really important in this world. You have your part-time job so that you can put food on the table, have an enriching (and rewarding career), and perhaps provide an example to your own children. But you have not been called to serve, except perhaps to serve yourself.

To suggest that parents cannot be politicians is absurd. Service to this country (which is what a political career should be) requires sacrifice; sacrifice many of us aren’t willing to make. It’s the same kind of sacrifice our men and women in uniform possess. Should we bar parents from being firefighters, police officers, or soldiers? After all, many mothers and fathers (including those of special needs children) are currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as on the streets of these United States. Are they too “nuts”… or are they heroes?

Keep your part time job, your nanny, and your compromises. Some of us have been inspired this week to sacrifice… not only for our children, but for our country as well.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at September 4, 2008 - 8:34 pm and is filed under 2008 Presidential Campaign. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.